How it started:
Alex and I met on a sweaty dance floor in college, dressed in bubble wrap and a trash bag respectively. We quickly bonded over our shared values, similar childhoods, and a deep, infectious love for having a LOT of fun. Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to years, and somehow, we now find ourselves looking back on an almost 10-year relationship and wondering how we got here. I'm not sure of the exact moment we first fell in love (feels like a long time ago!), but as cliche as it is, I feel we tend to fall in love over and over again as time passes. Those moments span the spectrum in my mind, from big, romantic gestures (like getting engaged, or "re-engaged" when our ring finally showed up after being locked in a lab for ~6 months due to COVID ;), to small moments (like a hand-squeeze while grocery shopping), to hard times (like supporting one another through the loss of a loved one), to pure adrenaline-filled moments (like traveling the world, or the look we share when we've summited a mountain, skied a really hard line, or are star-gazing on a roof after climbing the gutter). Falling in love (and staying in love) seems to happen continuously...and for us, comes in many shapes, sizes, and forms.
This is not to say we haven't had our ups and downs- we certainly have had our share of those- and to be honest, there were times in our relationship where it didn't look like the happily-ever-after story that it does now. This brings me to my "supposed" advice for others. I'm not sure this is my best advice, but here are some thoughts that come to mind...
Honesty and Communication:
I hate to say it (because I sound like my mom...love you Mom!) but honesty and communication are absolutely critical to any long-term relationship. The growth that we've experienced since we met when we were a mere 18 years old, both individually and as a couple, is tremendous. And while many might argue that your 20s are some of your most formative years, something tells me that growth and change will be present in our lives forever. Figuring out how to stay true to and grow yourself while your partner does the same, all while maintaining a relationship is HARD. Being capable of being honest and transparent with yourself is challenging but critical to being able to express yourself and your needs to your partner, and ensuring that as you both inevitably grow and change, you're able to do so together and support each other in the process.
Love unconditionally and with gratitude:
This is perhaps one of the traits I most admire and value in Alex. His love is absolutely pure and unconditional. He loves me fiercely, fearlessly, and unwaveringly. I have immense respect for his ability to see past all of the questions and uncertainty that life throws at you and simply love me for who I am, even when I'm at my worst. Being in a relationship bound by unconditional love and respect has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life, and I'm eternally grateful to Alex for showing me how to love in this way.
Choose one another every damn day:
It can be easy to fall into the habit of getting irrationally mad about the dishes left in the sink or forgetting your good morning kiss when you're staring down what feels like 1,024 Zoom calls for work. Never, ever forget that this person is the love of your life. Your partner in crime. Your caretaker. Your confidant. Your soulmate. Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen, every single day. Whether it be through small gestures like folding the laundry, or something bigger, like ensuring that once a week you plan a date night, make the time and space to show them you love them in whatever ways you possibly can, every. single. day. I cannot stress this enough.
Have Fun!
Someone recently told us that we stand out as a couple in our ability to play. As an almost 30-year old, this was a little jarring to hear, but the more I listened, the more I understood. We are continuously pushing each other to try new things, and quite frankly, to make fools of ourselves while doing it. Whether that be in the form of skiing the steepest line possible or taking a first-time crack at karaoke, we push the limits of what we think we're capable of, and usually giggle while we're at it.
